Anger Management Exercises & Tips
Anger Management Exercise: Triggers and Reactions
Although reaction to anger is often characterized as "boiling over", "exploding", or "losing your cool", intense anger reactions vary from violent physical displays to depression. Along with punching and smashing, angry people also "lose control" and yell, curse, make sarcastic comments, become depressed, shake, feel nauseous, feel dizzy, get headaches, and cry.
The three-step anger management exercise below will help you find your anger triggers, evaluate them, and change your reactions to anger.
1. Think of five things that always make you angry or annoy you. These are anger triggers and they can range from small annoyances to volcanic events. For instance, an anger trigger may be a neighborhood barking dog, a driver who cuts you off in traffic, or the stop and go frustration of rush hour on the freeway.
2. Rate the five triggers from one to five as to how much they irritate you.
3. How do you react to each trigger?
Some negative reactions are listed below:
a. Do you get into physical fights with others?
b. Do you punch, hit, or kick inanimate objects or pets?Getting physical is never a long-term solution to problems.
If either A or B is a common reaction to anger, consider getting help from a therapist. Please call me if you'd like to talk about how therapy can help.
c. Do you frequently slam doors, sometimes to the point of damaging them?
d. Do you throw, break, or destroy objects to relieve your anger?
e. Do you stomp your feet in anger?
Although none of these solves the problems that made you angry, you can adapt them to help relieve some of the adrenaline that makes anger erupt. Find a safe place and let it out! After you're calm again, examine what happened and use anger management strategies and techniques to keep it from happening again.
f. Do you yell until you're hoarse? Do you often say things that you regret later?
g. Do you face confrontation with sarcasm?
h. Do you often say things that you later regret?
If you answered "yes" to F, G, or H you're probably finding that none solves the problems that stir up your anger. Brainstorm to find better avenues of communication. Then use anger management strategies (below) to help you resolve your anger triggers.
i. Do you shy away from confrontation? Do you keep your feelings to yourself?
j. Do you brood over the unfairness or hopelessness of situations?
k. Do you say, "We'll talk about it later" and never do?
Internalized anger can lead to both physical health problems (such as nausea, dizziness, indigestion) and mental health problems like depression. If your response to I, J, or K was "yes", consider taking an anger management class, some assertiveness training, or working with a therapist. Please call me if you'd like to talk about how I can help you take control of your anger.
Five Anger Management Strategies
Anger Management Strategy #1: Change Your Environment
If you usually spend your day indoors, make a point to spend some personal time outdoors. Putter in your yard or take a walk. The fresh air will do you good, both physically and mentally. If you work mostly outdoors, spend some personal, private time indoors. Go home, put your feet up and relax.
If you spend the day in physical labor, give yourself a "quiet time". Sit on a park bench and watch the world go by or sit in your favorite chair and let your tired muscles relax. If you spend most of your day in a sit-down job, get your muscles moving! After work, take some time to walk, run, exercise to feel a surge of renewed energy in both mind and body!
If you spend your day in noisy place, make sure your "quiet time" is quiet. Give yourself a chance to calm down and clear the chaos from your thoughts.
Anger Management Strategy #2: Recognize Your Anger Triggers and Make a Log
When you're reasonably calm, take a few minutes to examine recent times when your anger flared. Write them down. Don't relive each, just look for what triggered your anger. What started you simmering and when did you boil over? What effect did your anger have on those around you and most importantly, you? What resulted from your anger? Let this be the beginning of your anger log or anger diary.
Each day, "log" occurrences of your anger and their triggers. You'll likely find that many of the same things are making you angry everyday. For instance, a lot of people start each day confronted by the harsh, irritating sound of an alarm clock. If you're one of them, consider changing its tune. Set a clock radio to music instead of alarm or purchase an alarm that starts with a quiet pulse and slowly increases in intensity.
Anger Management Strategy #3: Put Your Anger on Hold
Your partner arrives an hour late and full of excuses. You've managed to stay reasonably calm, but you can feel your anger building. Decide to talk about it later and smile! You are still in control of your emotions and the situation, that's what's important. Timing is often critical to keeping mangaging anger well. Don't discuss issues when you're tired, or the situation has already made you irritable. Do choose a time to find solutions to problems, just make it when you can talk rationally and comfortably - when you can stay in control.
Anger Management Technique #4: Don't React to Anger - Respond
A major anger management technique is in changing the way you think and learning to respond to anger instead of reacting to it. Reacting to anger is a learned, impulsive behavior that becomes instinctive. Responding to anger allows you to examine various options and gives you the opportunity to choose the one that works the best for you.
Anger Management Technique #5: Take Care of You
Make personal time each day to reflect on issues and consider solutions to problems. Strive for balance in your life. Try to leave work problems at work and personal problems at home. Although we tend to often separate mind and body, they work together to make each of us into one unique being. Regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep are as essential to your emotional health as they are to your physical well-being.